My First Postnatal Journey

The first challenge was that the first COVID-19 lockdown happened just two weeks before the birth of my son. The restrictions meant that my husband wasn’t allowed into the birth room until after my waters had broken. This didn’t do much to help keep my calm or keep that oxytocin flowing! I was induced and progressed very quickly, the mixture of Pethadine and the sheer intensity of labour means I don’t actually remember my husband arriving. 

He assures me that he put my chosen playlist on and kept me supplied with drinks and energy tablets but it’s all a blur to me. I do however remember having an epidural as the relief from the pain was amazing. The sudden reduction in pain gave me the breathing space I needed to mentally prepare a little before going into theatre to deliver our son via forceps. 
I was so, so exhausted by this point that by the time I saw my son for the first time, laid on the table in front of me, all I could say was ‘oh my God!’. I could hardly keep my eyes open so while I can just about remember enjoying that first cuddle with my boy, I certainly didn’t have that rush of love and joy I’d heard about. That cosy baby bubble people talk about completely eluded me. 

In the end that cosy baby bubble and that rich feeling of love and joy didn’t kick in for another nine months. 
My next two nights in hospital with my son were sleepless and complicated. He was coughing/vomiting secretions every half an hour the first night and I was too terrified to sleep. I wasn’t allowed anyone with me so it was just me, alone, and my new son. 

Arriving home, depleted, numb and completely exhausted I then found myself trying and failing to breastfeed. I expected a sleepy newborn and what I actually had was a son who, aside from the odd 5 minute nap, wanted to feed all day and all night. 
The weeks went by and he still didn’t sleep for longer than 10 minute chunks during the day and feeding just wasn’t getting any easier. I tried all the help I could access while restrictions were still in place when finally, 4 weeks later and with an underweight baby on my hands, I listened to my health visitor when she suggested combination feeding. 

I couldn’t have felt like more of a failure. When I look back now, better rested and able to see my son thriving, I know adding in formula feeding really wasn’t a big deal. But it felt it. To me it was another deeply painful thing I had to find time to process. 
Even once feeding was less stressful I still had a seriously non-stop son on my hands. He was not one of those chilled out babies, happy to be cuddled and smiled at for entertainment. As well as being a thoroughly dreadful sleeper, he didn’t nap well and he wanted to be on the move the whole time. So much for the hours of Netflix I thought I’d be watching! 

My husband, who’s a surgeon, had a three hour round trip for his commute and was working very long hours. I found myself exhausted, overwhelmed, embarrassed about our feeding journey, alone and feeling really unlike myself for a long 9 months. 
At around the 9 month mark my son’s sleep got a tiny bit better and he started walking (yes, at 9 months!). The return of some sleep meant I could finally start to heal and be restored and my son starting to walk meant I had a few more moments in my day when he was content for me to make a cup of tea. 

It happened slowly but, I slowly started to reclaim some freedom, some opportunity for ‘me time’.  With a little more sleep, I started to feel some happiness and excitement about what the future may bring. 

All in all, my journey into motherhood was a rocky one. A string of unfortunate pregnancy complications combined with the Covid pandemic starting just as I gave birth certainly added to what was a fairly negative experience. As I started to unpick what happened, I realised that whilst so much is out of your control, there’s a lot you can do in the run up to birth to smooth the ride. I was very naive going into my first birth. I put far too much effort on the birth itself and not enough on preparing for the postnatal phase. 
I’d hear people say ‘make sure you get plenty of rest before the baby comes etc etc’ and I’d think.. ‘ahh, I’m waking up to wee loads in the night anyway, seeing to the baby won’t be much different’. What I now realise is that the more rested you are going in, the more you can cope with the severity of the early sleep deprivation. 

I can’t stress enough how important it is to prepare for your postnatal time. It’s likely going to be the most physically challenging and emotionally trying phase of your life. It makes sense to go in prepared, with the right tools to hand and able to meet the challenge head on. 

I am passionate about making sure other women aren’t robbed of that love and joy that every mother and baby deserve, and need, to experience. 
I am planning to go into my next postnatal phase very differently. Here’s how I’m preparing second time around:

Meal prep: There’s so much focus and pressure on making sure we have the most on trend baby kit and the cutest clothing but we need to prioritise ourselves in this too. The small things like making sure you have nutritious meals prepped in advance and frozen ready to reheat, can really make a difference. Making meals as easy as possible is important but also researching and ensuring good postnatal nutrition is essential in helping you to heal from birth and cope better mentally too. 
Feeding baby and sleep: If breastfeeding is something you imagine yourself doing then learn as much as you can about this in advance and find a local lactation consultant who you can contact if needed. The same applies to your physical recovery, postnatal mental health, your sleep, babies sleep, baby care and development. 

I thought there would be plenty of time to learn about these things once the baby was here but I quickly realised that when you’re in the moment, your brain is often too exhausted to logically piece information together properly. Your focus is also solely on the baby and what you can do to make their lives better, to help them learn and develop. Somehow your own wellbeing falls right down to the bottom of the list.
Talk to other mums: Ask other Mums for their honest accounts of their early days as a new mother. I think sometimes we can withhold information from our friends through fear of scaring them off but honesty helps you prepare. There's a reason it's called the fourth trimester right?!?

Your Physical Recovery

Realising how real that motherhood juggle actually is ignited a passion within me to see where I could help. As a physiotherapist, I know that our postnatal physical recovery is so important. It’s extremely frustrating to me that the support we are given as standard is so poor and that we have a culture of just ignoring symptoms like incontinence and prolapse thinking that’s ‘just what happens after childbirth’. 

Helping to improve comfort after birth and helping to prevent or improve symptoms such as incontinence and prolapse makes a huge difference to a woman’s physical and mental wellbeing as a mother for years to come. Not only that but it doesn’t need to take up much time at all. I’ve seen how much poor physical recovery from birth can affect a woman’s self esteem, social life and mental health and it’s something we shouldn’t be putting up with. I was so grateful that I knew how to recover physically after my forceps delivery as that was one thing that didn’t add to my stress. The struggles I did face with a difficult birth, poor sleep and breastfeeding are not uncommon and the thought of having to deal with problems relating to physical recovery on top of this seems unimaginable to me.

When I came to research what support there was out there for women already, a lot seemed too vague, too long-winded or heavily exercise based. Let’s face it, regular exercise is unachievable for many women with a baby when you’re exhausted and most of your focus is on the baby and not yourself. There are so many simple things that can be implemented quickly and with ease to help improve physical recovery after birth however and I felt women needed to know that this was possible. To know that physical recovery didn’t have to be another stressful factor in the postnatal phase. 

So, that’s where Natal Restore was born. A site to help women learn about pregnancy and postnatal recovery in a way that can fit around their busy lives as a Mum-to-be or new Mum. Whether they like exercise or not. Respectful of time, realistic, practical and achievable.

Have a look at our free postnatal resources and full online course for more information to help smooth the ride along your own postnatal recovery journey.